All that shines is not Gold!

So after a number of disappointments you finally learn how to protect yourself from more.
But while still in that dark patchy area anything can seem great even if it isnt hence all that shines is not Gold. In the sense that whatever you have found that you think might finally make you happy, might actually not turn out to be what it is you needed. This is when you can finally and actually reach rock bottom.

Its always tough learning the hard way! What's harder is learning the lesson and trying to use it in future. As they always say easier said than done.
Recently, i found out that the things that seem so easy are sooo hard. Well i knew it before but i went through an example of something that i thought was easy and i cant even get past five minutes of doing it ha!

Anyways, in the end, you need to trust yourself first. Even in needy times, its always best to trust you before you trust someone else. I had to learn the hard way and i hope i never encounter something like this all over again because its such a let down. Changes your moods and well it sucks!

So next time, just get a good cd and listen to some tunes and just buy some ice cream and drown all your worries and sorrows. Atleast they'll be for a few hours.

It just never ends. . .

Beginning of this year i had a number of things happen to me. I could just not believe my luck, in the sense that it was not there.
I lost a friend, James man still missing you. A very inspiring long time friend who i only found about a year ago via Facebook. Read his blog here and enjoy. I hope you are inspired as i am!

James, its still hard.

I can´t bring myself to saying goodbye.

Till now im just perplexed.

How can a life just be taken away so abrupt?

I think about you and i always wonder what you will tell me.

Everytime i think i can´t make it i think of your E in maths. CLASSIC!

I hope that you are okay where ever you are.

Fran really misses you all her Facebook statuses are mostly about you and her trying to deal with it all.

I wish there was someway i could help her but i know you are guiding her and all your other siblings.

We all miss you dear and God really must´ve needed you.

Rest in Peace dear, but note this is still not goodbye.

Ps. You see how guys write on your wall EVERY day?

You were that special.

Gone be definitley not forgotten.

So a number of other things happened. Including getting a cold and having to do practicals. I have never felt more sick in my life, oh did i mention the 20cm of snow and minus twenty degrees celcius? I must have also left out the fact that i had just come back from Uganda, which was thirty degrees celcius. So the adjusting was just killing me.

Its like 2oo9 brought along this bad streak that just does not feel like quitting.
Something else i got back is my clumsines, i used to be`butterfingers` sometime back but quit it but now im back there again.

I just really wonder for how long will this go on?
For how long shall i still have to get up?
Can´t i just remain on the floor for once and if i did what would happen?

Trying to have a positive outlook on things but these days whats there to look at that positive?

Atleast theres a new flame in my life? Only question is how hot will it be for how long?

Hmm, food for thought.

It's tough being a woman!

So yes, it was that time of the month again and i was just wondering honestly, what do men go through? They dont suffer in any way whatsoever.
Dont get me wrong im perfectly alright being a female but i just cant understand why we should suffer so much. Yes, i believe in the bible, so the whole Eve i believe.
Yet, if im not wrong, Adam ate the apple in the end. Why do the ladies suffer?
We see this on a daily basis where even males push friends or family to making certain decision that are not really worthwhile. Do they get punished? Im still waiting to see this happen.

I was thinking, if theres anything i'd like men to experience (that we women do) is actually nothing. Well apart from them not being able to handle it. I just think its been balanced out. I feel just a little pain every now and then is good for you.
Mood swings, hormonal changes, well sometimes i actually enjoy it ha!
And lastly, giving birth. I dont think theres anything that can actually top giving life to a new human being. so men for now you´re safe. No curses upon you now though yeah even if you had to suffer as we did i doubt you would change.

Losing weight.

Yes, im sure the title must already have you thinking of yet another diet story.

Anyways I just have four tips if you are trying:

1. Make sure you drink atleast the two litres of water a day.
2. Cut all you eat by half.
3. Eat all your meals obviously healthy things.
4. Last but not least, stick to it.

Well, its worked for me. So i thought i should just share.

LIfe - Do i have enough?

I know it has been ages yet again. Time and laziness are a huge factor to my lack of posts on atleast a monthly basis.

Today, I read a poem written by a friend of mine!

Enough happiness
to keep you sweet
Enough trials
to keep you strong
Enough sorrow
to keep you human
Enough wealth
to meet your needs
Enough enthusiasm
to look forward
Enough faith
to banish depression
Enough determination
to make each day better than yesterday
Enough failure (if it happens, up and dust yourself)
to keep you humble
Enough success
to keep you eager
Enough friends
to give you comfort, stability, happiness, guidance and love
Enough gratitude
for the gift of such good friends

It was very on point and made a lot of sense in a way. Though i began to ask myself, really do i have all those qualities she mentioned?

Of late I have been going through alot, even that is an understatment. I seem to always be on the wrong side of things or is is just bad luck? And suddenly my butterfinger-ness has gone to a level i can't even begin comprehend.
Its like in the power of my hands i have bad luck and im just waiting to pass it on to someone else. Quite amusing yet very annoying.

I am slowly realising that right now im in a negative circle whereby i keep going round and round and its just full of negativiy and no sign of light at the end of the tunnel. Pretty depressing but such poems make my day and i begin to see hope again. Yet just as i am making peace with whatever it is that is causing my life to go into a roller coaster ride, i get on another worse ride. Its like there is just no stopping to this. I would just like to put a fullstop to it and hope thats the end of things till the next chapter begins.

But seeing as a human being is not set to give up i have just like our forefather thought up some survivial tricks.

• Eradicating all negativity - Everyone know having a positive mind view to things is not only good for your health but helps you climb that ladder.
• Believing in God - Well i think even atheists believe in someone or something. The earth electrical force perhaps but what ever it is. Just believe that your future has been written and it is rather positive.
• Having faith - Truly, if you dont have faith in yourself and what you want in life, well we dont normally get it. Believing is receiving. Well I might have made that up but its the truth.
• Dont force plan(Patience) - I think this is one thing that has taken alot of time for me to accept. When i need something to happen, i just want to add a catalyst and just have the process move along swiftly so i can already have the products. Though we all know that good things take time. Rome was not built in a day, no doubt. So just lets take a deep breath and wait.
• Trust & Believing - Personally this is the most important aspect. If you dont trust and believe yourself. I dont see you moving anywhere at all. Trust your brains, your hands , your legs or whatever it is to get you there. Believe that they can deliver and set your mind to it. Its like if we had a lot of links together and one was weak, it would spoilt it for the rest. So you might have the four things above but without the last one. God helps those who help and trust in themselves. (It should be that way)

So, i slowly started putting these into my life and im not saying im over the moon happy. BUT, i am content im learning to accept things. And do with what i have been given and making good use of it.

So do i have enough?

Not yet, but i am hoping some day soon i will have all i need.

Up´s and down´s

So, yet again i have been lost.
As usual life has been bumpy. Not that it is smooth for anyone but this time it has beenf unnily an exhausting ride.
I seem to be clueless at everything around me these days.
Right now its 20.26 by the time i post this up it will obviously.
Listening to P.Diddy and Nicole Scherzinger´s song Come to me.
I have no clue why, but i was missing those days when i actually enjoyed this song.
Perhaps i am trying to go back in time and see if the song had anything to do with that happiness.
If only, they were somehow connected.
I have an Exam tomorrow and Friday and im acting like i am done.
I am chilling, day dreaming and eating like i am on holiday.
Earlier on i was singing Christmas carols.
I think right now all my body is telling me in no words at all is that it needs to rest.
It is tired of all the hectic schedules and all the stress factors around me.

Though i guess giving up is never an option so i have to move on.
There is no reverse gear anymore.

Thats something i need to adjust myself to, the fact that i cant have what it is i really want right now. My life before,w hen things seemed alot easier and always, well almost always, went your way.
Now life is about sacrifice every single time.
Over and over again.

I just cant wait till i reach the end of the road.
Hopefully i willf ind all i have been searching for all along.
And have a good life and live happily ever after.
Like a fairy tale. . .. .I wish.


Im just going to focus on what needs my attention.
Hopefullyt hings will fall into place!


Ps.I know the picutre is huge. Tried to get it smaller but then realised meh, why stress, its a beautiful picture. . . .just going to leave it as it is. . .it will sort itself out

And one by one they went. . .

It is quite shocking at how many people around me are dying.
Mostly my age mates, youth, people who haven't yet had the chance to live and experience what life has to offer.
It is so sad when you life is ripped away form some other human-being. It hurts their family and the people they know. its never understood why one would go through so much to take away something they had no right in taking away.
Most of the people who passed, who i knew personally, made sure they enjoyed each day they were given. Obviously everyone has their ups and downs and days when they feel like they don't want to live. But some people have so much positive energy they don't spend it on negative things.

Its very sad, but you cant undo what has been done, for it had been written a long time ago!

For all those who have lost someone don't dwell on what you could have said or done.
Don't have regrets, Somethings you are not able to stop or prevent, they must run their course.
If you needed things to say, I'm sure they will listen you might not get an answer back but they listen. Just remember all the good memories you all made.
Be strong and live everyday like your last because tomorrow isn't promised.


May all those who have lost loved ones be strong and be able to move on in life keeping that memory they treasure most.

And to those who have passed on, may you all Rest in Peace.